Missing You
by hopefuladdict
Summary: Sarek takes his first diplomatic trip without Amanda by his side since being bonded with her.


**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own Star Trek and it makes me sad. No money is made from this work.**

**Dr Daniel Corrigan, Vulcan healer Sorel and his wife T'Zan are the creations of Jean Lorrah. **

**If anyone knows who created Sarek's assistant Soran let me know and I will be happy to give credit of his mention where it is due. He appears in numerous fan fiction stories by different authors with Sarek and Amanda, but I can't find him on the memory alpha, so I believe he's _fannon_ not cannon.**

**A/N**

**Special Thanks to TalesFromTheSpockSide for her generous beta work.**

Missing You

The house was dark when Sarek awoke and edged quietly out of bed, desirous not to rouse his wife. He made little sound as he moved about, using the sonic shower and dressing in preparation for his trip. He trod silently back through their bed chamber, only to find the place where Amanda had been curled up asleep in their bed vacant. He exited the room and walked the short distance down the hall, rounding the corner that led to the main living area, and found her.

Amanda was standing by the front door to their home, holding her husband's work briefcase while she waited for him to appear and swaying in a way that he found perilous.

"I am quite capable of seeing myself out, Amanda. You are in need of rest; return to bed," Sarek chided.

She looked at him as he approached her, her sad eyes wide and dark and full of emotion, so very human. He knew she was disappointed-she would say unhappy, with the turn of events. Though she usually accompanied him on his diplomatic trips, this time she could not. Their final check with their physician, Dr Daniel Corrigan, before being cleared for travel had found her with a low grade fever for which he could find no cause. She insisted she felt fine, but her elevated temperature had continued to linger and Dr. Corrigan would not sign off on her papers to permit her departure, scheduled for the following day.

"You're going to be gone for a month, Sarek." Amanda sighed quietly. "I couldn't let you slip out without saying goodbye." She gave him a weak smile, blinking slowly from the clinging shroud of slumber.

Sarek refrained as usual from telling her such sentiments were unnecessary and illogical, even when she wasn't ill and in need of additional rest. He took his bag from her, placing it on the floor, and escorted her back to bed, encircling her waist with his arm to ensure she didn't stumble in her groggy state. She climbed obediently back under the covers, giving his empty side of the bed a forlorn look, but said nothing. She had already argued with Sarek and the doctor, to no avail; she needed to accept what she couldn't change. She whispered that she loved him and he brushed her cheek with the back of his hand, mentally noting her fever had increased by two degrees. However, he did not comment on it, understanding it would only exacerbate her already melancholy mood. Her eyes were heavy and slipped closed after only a moment of him sitting beside her, and he left, his robes rustling softly as he departed, leaving her alone.

He went to the comm in his study before leaving and left a message for Daniel, updating him on the status of Amanda's fever and requesting he check in on her daily until her body was functioning within its normal parameters.

* * *

Amanda's days while Sarek was absent were full. Her fever broke two days after he left, and she fell back into her normal routine, minus him. She tended her new garden in the early morning hours, ate her breakfast, cleaned up, and went to work.

When she returned home in the evening, Amanda often discovered she would absentmindedly prepare enough food for two, or dishes that Sarek especially favored before she realized what she was doing. She dined on occasion with Dr. Corrigan and his associate and fellow healer Sorel, and Sorel's wife T'Zan, delighting in their company. But the longer Sarek was gone, the more she felt she was less than good company.

Amanda felt foolish and disappointed that she could not control her negative emotions better, her loneliness and longing for her husband, especially since Sarek seemed to be fine without her company. Though she missed his physical presence terribly, she could feel his constant, subtle calm through their bond, apparently completely and perfectly content without her. She tried not to think about his lack of disquiet over their separation; it made her heart clench in her chest.

The first night he was gone, she had found one of his soft tunics, enormous on her tiny frame, and began sleeping in it, knowing Sarek would find her behavior ridiculous. She awoke every morning to find herself ensconced on his side of the bed, wrapped tightly around his pillow. She refused to change the bed sheets that still held the faint hint of his scent. Sometimes she woke in the night and couldn't bear to be in their bed alone, so she would shuffle off, dragging his pillow along with her like a teddy bear from her youth, settling down on the sofa in his study. Amanda developed a preference for Sarek's previously 'too uncomfortable' chair when she utilized the family room, and twice fell asleep in it while working on her lecture notes.

No matter where she slept, she dreamed of him…always.

* * *

Sarek and his assistant Soran were satisfied with the progression of negotiations with Solarius II. If the meetings with the planetary government continued in the same fashion they had experienced thus far, they would return to Vulcan three days early. If they could dispense with the endless parade of gatherings that always accompanied such things, they could be back within the week.

Sarek was Vulcan's ambassador to Earth before he met and married Amanda; he had been required to attend a plethora of banquets and obligatory social functions which accompanied such a position, alone. He pondered how the whole process now seemed to evoke a feeling of tedium in him that he did not recall experiencing before he was bonded, as he made his way to yet another formal dinner—the third this week. He was slightly startled to find how quickly he had become acclimated to having her by his side and how keenly he felt her absence.

He walked into the designated ballroom for the dinner and was met by Soran and his bondmate, T'Mir. She, like his Amanda, typically traveled with her spouse when he was required to go off world. Their host, a short and rather round man, greeted them and walked them to their assigned table, talking as they made their way. The gentleman inquired if Sarek and his companions were comfortable in the rooms provided them, just as he had each time he had spoke with them. The three nodded their assent..._again, _all accustomed to the practice of redundantquestions by non-Vulcans when they engaged in 'small talk'.

In truth, Sarek had not rested well during his sojourn on the planet. The bed in his room felt inordinately large without Amanda lying next to him. He pushed away the thought of her warm body curled around him, her hair splayed wildly about her head, and took his seat for the meal, the Solarian leaving them to greet more delegates.

He watched in silence as Soran prepared a plate of food for T'Mir, from the offerings on their table for the evening meal, and placed it before her. She touched two outstretched fingers to his for a moment then gathered her utensils and began to eat. Sarek's stomach churned as an unpleasant feeling swept over him. Envy, perhaps? How fascinating. He lowered his eyes and went about consuming his own meal, contemplating the growing list of experiences that seemed to have become disagreeable without his wife's attendance.

* * *

Sarek and the other ambassadors were successful in bringing the summit to a satisfactory close ahead of schedule. They would arrive back on Vulcan within the hour, three days ahead of schedule, just as he had surmised. Amanda would be asleep when he arrived, but he would be with her, would be able to look upon her…it was sufficient.

He entered their home and set aside his things, greeted by the fresh scent of the soup and biscuits he favored. He wondered if Soran had contacted Amanda about their early return, prompting her to prepare them. He checked the warmer in the kitchen and found it empty. His stomach grumbled.

His eyes scanned the common room as he passed through and he noticed a book, Persuasion, by Jane Austen, lying in the chair he frequently sat in. He stopped and looked at it with curiosity. A small quilt Amanda had received as a child and brought from Earth was draped across the chair's back. He stared at the chair and its out of place contents for a full minute.

Sarek progressed to the bedroom and stopped abruptly again. His side of the bed looked as if it had been slept in, but the entire bed was now empty. Where was Amanda? He turned on his heel, concern stirring in him though he could feel her gentle presence in his mind, and began to search the rest of the house. When he entered his study he located her.

Amanda was covered in one of his robes, asleep in his chair, her head on one of its arms. He could see the edge of one of his shirts peeking out where the robe had fallen away from her thigh. The robe slipped further off as she shifted and emitted a soft sigh.

It wasn't until she mumbled his name that Sarek became aware he had stood transfixed, gazing at her sleeping form, for 10 minutes and 4 seconds. He crossed the room in two long strides and carefully lifted her into his arms. Her head lolled against his chest, and then she burrowed into it, inhaling deeply. He started toward their room while leaning into her hair to drink in its scent, murmuring against her dark curls.

"I missed you too."


End file.
